I am beginning to have a fear of being in my own room. I don't like the familiarity of it.
Actually I think my real fear is that if I'm in my room for too long I won't be able to leave it again. To stop this from happening I try to get out of my house and be in other places but then I feel like I am in those places without a purpose and that people are looking at me wondering what I am doing there.
I'm gradually resenting everything that is familiar.
Places. People.
Words.
Routines.
Clothes.
Songs.
But I'm afraid of everything that is unfamiliar. So I don't know where that leaves me.
Perhaps you should move your furniture around? Change the terms of your surroundings and they will no longer be able to swallow you up.
ReplyDeleteI've been wanting to do that for a while actually. I used to change my furniture around all the time. But when I went to do it this morning I couldn't think of how I wanted it to be instead, so I moved it all back.
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