52 grams of sugar

Everyone is wearing beautiful mirrors over their face. My reflection is everywhere! Grand. I'm so ravenous for conversation. I am pretty self-concerned. I can talk to myself. Why, yes, I do have a birthday wish-list actually. How good of you to ask. I would like an encyclopaedia of myself. Alphabetically ordered and excruciatingly detailed. Indexes, references, the whole shebang. Hold the wrapping paper. I do not want a pouffy ribbon. I already have a pouffy dress.

I have to carry my body in a sack behind my brain. If it is a silk sack (hand sewn) then I will require a different colour for each day of the week, please, thank you. Sense! I have enough to contend with: people, performance. Oh God, I can't do it I MUST DO IT I can't do this anymore I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING ELSE! I need to make and I need to talk and I need to make and talk and if I can't do these things right now something bad is happening in me. Health professionals advise against this lifestyle but mostly I am a little masochistic about it. My pampered body can’t accommodate and life starts biting at the ankles. I have had a bad taste in my mouth for about five weeks and echinacea tea wont cure it. Unfortunate.

Expand my head. My gut ingests too few criticisms. My brain is an over-filled balloon in danger of bursting. Good. A dismal person needs a healthy stab. Pins at the ready, people! I'm fairly sure they used to try to cure diseases by 'bleeding' people out. I don't get squeamish over blood but I do feel nauseous at the thought of dirty/rusty knives. Sometimes I feel nauseous for no reason. No I am not a hypochondriac. I have funny wrists. They get sore if I sit on them. School is so secure and sickening.

Do nothing while I lift off my fingernails. I am doing this very, very quietly so maybe you are confused and think it's an illusion. It's not too painful. Today I was far too loud. Generally I am too quiet. My loudest gestures are towards mouths but not with my own mouth. Actually I don't even have a mouth, sorry for lying. I just forgot temporarily, see. My brain is shunted to second place for its rationalizing.

I would ideally like to spend several hours throwing ideas into my own head from yours. Don’t often find people with whom I am fluid. I imagine lack of conversation results in my brain cells eating each other. Nutritious? Maybe. I have eaten a lot of carrots lately in the hope of seeing better. Inability to write straight. I must dance better than I talk. I must definitely dance more than I dream.

Two days. I need them to last and I need them to pass NOW.

All over the place. I am all over the place and twelve weeks old. Of course in the stars I am well balanced which is secretly code for juxtaposed extremes and all of that. You must always follow a recipe exactly so scales are a wise investment. I just want to be always awake. Always. I will make friends with a hedgehog and wear plastic gloves in case of prickles.