Friday, May 23, 2014

let's just pretened
that that ankle doesn't have that incision in it
that I can dance like it's 21.12.13
that we are free and summer-ing

that there's no time or place
except for this week

that there's only coffee and yahtzee
or else sunsets and lakes
and vans parked in places without mirrors

you

having stood on my own two feet for so long
and suddenly,
   four..

four as in wheels
four as in weeks maximum
and four as in for
and for, and for...

for us and for you -
for me,
having stood on two legs so long -
four causes anxiety
how does one balance with extra limbs

how does one, 
how does one...

and with all the extra weight 
and lack of 
and lack of
I wonder how one dances
when one has an extra body to hold ?


Sunday, May 18, 2014

from some time towards the end of last year


by accident I
    caught
the veins of his arms --
 they felt like
                  your scars

I felt the salt coagulating in my eyes...
        Still briefly;
 maintaining

(found on the back of a receipt inside a book I never finished)

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

"Some things, once you've loved them, become yours forever. And if you try to let them go... They only circle back and return to you. They become part of who you are ... or they destroy you."

- Kill Your Darlings

Monday, May 5, 2014

courageously

I've a habit
for ones 
looking too close to themselves
the ones shaking those little 
cardboard boxes
containing perforated trays

I've a habit 
for labyrinth 
minds, despaired dreams
unpaired electrons
whizzing around

and yet,
you are still 
more mine, more us -
you are old and new
you are me and myself
yourself, and yourself

and here 
are words 

Sunday, May 4, 2014

dahlee

there I was, falling asleep
in Arthur's valley
trains for lullabies

not knowing that within a single
drawn-out
week
my valley would come to me

and four months later
"train wreck", she jumped -
"waiting to happen", spat

and yes my incessant need for busy
entertained the idea
but my body was quieter...
my Heart

- my actual, organ-flesh heart -

in its stillness
knew.

I'll be sitting here a while
and I'll become patient with love

revival

My body stopped
around the same time my words did.

My body put its foot down
down
through the floor
sinking sideways
guilty with pleasure
crushed by the weight of myself

and of him

not the perpetrator
but he
who I gained, and lost, in breaking

felt weak from all the serving
from all the holding of dinners
at the sides of those
k, ok- gestures
to the profiles of persons
and having woken every morning for five weeks
shaking
how could I expect it steady?
Poor foot.
I'm sorry.

Poor foot... poor, poor foot.

so poor it emptied my bank account
all four thousand dollars
I had from
waiting.

and after I lost my blue stone
in the back of the rental car
my throat stopped, too
Stoppered up
or maybe it's because I
entered my third year ...
no, I think it's because I
broke myself, silly.
Or rather, was broken
by forces within and
without

myself.

she put it
right,
her hair in braids,
she said what I'd not yet thought
but felt:

When the dancing stops
so does the speaking.