knowing (pre-out poem)

I knew what I was before I was born
I saw myself solo amongst the crowd
I saw myself waiting to ask questions
I saw myself creating order and then destroying it

I knew what I was without being able to describe it
I knew good things would happen to me amongst a world of bad
I knew.

I knew in advance
I told him this the night I met him
I said, "I knew!"
but he just laughed.
I think he thought I was drunk
I was
but I was also knowing.