seven or ten

There are gaps in us now
our heads are stretching
I'm thinking, 'are we out of breath or out of ideas'?
Maybe both
It's a semi-accident
You can't blame anyone, or at least
I'm told
(we're all always told)
You Shouldn't Blame Yourself.
I imagine that statement would make a good slogan
for some marketing campaign
targeted at a larger per cent of the population.
Like we're all a river of people
that's what I thought as I looked at us
and smelt us
and felt the circling wavepools of the larger
world wrapping around me
and crushing into my sides
into my rib bones
and it wasn't just that familiar jest
that play-fighting
it was Something More Serious.
I didn't even know if we won.
There was too much else which I was losing.
Two new posessions,
a sad seven dollars sitting in run black paint
somewhere
I mean, it doesn't really matter
right?
But there's others:
sad clear company
I was recognised
I said, yes I was here before
do you remember me?
Of course you do.
You remember my weight.
There's others:
fresh words
I later borrowed
two fresh words sitting in my mouth
You're going near where I'm going
but we're going to get there by different means
I knew after two intakes of you
We know things pretty qucikly, we do
or at least I do. I assume it's the same for others.
And sight and sound,
and sight
and sight
Lovely sounds
keep talking at me
I'll stare at the footpath and breath it all in
I'll look up occasionally
I'll anchor my weight right, as usual
Would I put myself there even if you were to the
left? Probably.
Sad truth.
So every morning I'm thinking, last year
here we are at last year
or here I am
solitude feels like last year
but it's nice to remember
so just me, there's possibilities
that's why I disappear
sometimes so stealthy
sometimes an exit speech
and dramatic flailing
it's all for effect, honest.
You know, I'm asking question because I'm curious
but that's Not Allowed.
Nothing normality, we can't
all be straight all the time
I'll prove to myself there's still some yesterday in me
and maybe I'll venture back there again
Should head south more anyway, right?
That's where it all starts.