open

I wonder if they get used to us rushing past
puffed, large exhales
they probably don't even hear it any more
just some 'normal' drone
background noise

They probably don't even feel the air
swift past their black clothes anymore
top off before you're even backstage
lost hair-tie
hair-tie stuck
we're so afraid

not just of normal things but bizarre things
although its probably of greater concern to be afraid
of bizarre things
though they'd have you believe
being afraid of normal things
is more abnormal
It's not.
That's why they are 'normal'
and normal to fear, too
I don't ever want to sleep

That familiar niggling is returning
in familiar and unfamiliar places
is that normal or abnormal, that niggling?
is it normal to feel the niggling at all?
normal here
not normal, here
and here
not normal at all
except in this profession
so healthy and unwell
pizza and gas marks
are all signs of the profession
if you can call it that, more like an occupation

yes it occupies all our time
I live here now, in this place
I live here
this is my home
my only home, my body
and your body
and yours
and yours
I'll sit in your side
with my head pressed deep into your waist
more flesh in your absence of flesh
more crunching in my toes
more folding in my top lip than in my hip flexor
I don't know, is that right?
it feels right

And we'll get along just fine without the other
we are who were then, when we
wished we were the people we are now
circular
arms folded into each other's waist
circular
celestial
with glitter stains on our unshaven legs
too busy to perform normal hygiene routines
still stick my fingernails in your leg anyway
still give you purple marks
purple love, Mark
so beautiful to see you chaotic
(am I allowed to say that?)
it feels right
I almost told you in person
Yeah, they were definitely men
men, now
"not now", to quote
(I love them really)
some unbalance in our teal-rimmed dress cult
animal
in a dress
or creature
creature
like eating eyelashes

I can talk now
I can see
I still don't hear as well
but I know things at any given moment
I am knowing
yes, there is more to know
but I am knowing a lot now
now, not now and know
and knowing
the knowing is the best
we should all know things.