common

after Leon, Joe,
I swear I saw the salt creep into your live eyes
the same: the day I split myself from spitting Matilda's lover
having, until then, split for

(though, forgiven -- easy to mishear
as Gus and Gwil hold your voice in their throats, too)

Ms, too
whispered to me like a gun in my mouth
being dragged willfully around this lemon-condensed apartment
I would
and her prickled pre-pubescent legs dangled into my taut throat

who did she give herself too, in that pink dress?

boy barely mutters the word 'snatch'
-- so,
how did you snatch yourself from...
I suppose, he the old man
but then goes from ember to soot-stained pillows

but how did she exit those eight quiet gestures?
(under her concrete-sodden pillow, of course)
shit them all, beautiful

beauty left no good
stripped in waves,
or something.

Comes the new man.

...but surely, subtle hands need leed, too 
even new

thus man (boy)
snatches snatch's vowels in grenade-pinned honour
knighted common
'til the bloodflow leaks of all the buildings we've traversed
marking all those who are and refuse to be 

(come on)
still in hand, and head
there's silence without applause
slighted wrongly, adverse 
and then hearts (subtle lead)

man wails -- 
with no good to remain
but stripped in waves:
something

sink (swim)

I always thought this was only offered in Newtown
I forgot Newton
They can probably see my fresh eyes
but I don't feel embarrassed staring

besides,
it's not staring it's
Looking Intently

I know living here would feed my curiosity
curiosity would feed my creativity
and creativity might eat my pocket
or eat me
or feed me or
both

and as they say of New York
I either drown or flourish

Auckland is drowning me

512

5-1-2
is not like 2-1-2
is not like Brooklyn or
New York, wherever that is --
Is not like, "come onstage" and giveaway the game
what are you thinking.

I write small to keep my secrets hidden and
dance small
for the same, ribs
hunched forward over knees, hips bent
I make the perpetual little
"C-shaped" ball, I achieve
... and glance up under my neglected eyelids at
18 year olds, I remember
being not even at you yet, in first
(don't worry about brushing my hair, I
need the human touch) I'm

not really here anyway, really
really -- don't call me doll
I don't like it.
Come on, this is New Zealand

brooklyn's getting to me, baby

I just duns even care eh
if there's holes in my stock
ings
Yeah I am pretty poor
and a little bit scabby
A bit shit
but that's not why there's ripsin
my clothes

My left temple is mapping blues where I
bashed my face into a small chair
I didn't get inna fight
that's not why i wear the colour purple
and that's notwhy
I have
holes in my stockings, either
I just like 'em that way, okay?
Makes me feel a little bit rock'n'roll
A little bit
fucked up
And that's what we all wannabe
right?

just to eat pretzel bread (oh, and dance)

there for
long enough
to know
I will
go back

there
for long enough
to get the jokes on the t-shirts

there
for long enough
to see familiar corners
in movie scenes

there for long enough
to call it
'home'

there
for long enough
to walk
uptown
to
downtown

there for
long enough
to find
pseudo-love
(night love,
$35 dollar entry love)
and
platonic love
and
in-love:
city love
with love, love

and there for long enough
to feel
the political charge

there
for long enough
to walk
long enough
long brooklyn bridge
manhattan to
the other side


there for
long enough to know
I wasn't there
long enough
and therefore
there long enough
to know
I will
before long
be back

everyone else is where I want to be and I'm doing it better

Your eyes
are sunk like
blue-yellow-green
inside seashell
dusk storm
mac monitor light
colour

Or like
you haven't eaten red meat for a month
and not taken supplements
and stayed up all night watching YouTube
(you have, you do, do you?)

Like,
let's go run around the globe
a quick jog for tired under-eyes

I don't want this sleepy country.

No, I want this country, but I
want it awake.

things from you*

Things I have learned from you:

Break habits.
Call in sick.
If you have something good, hold onto it.
Laughter and collarbones are really the only things that matter.
A jack of all trades is a master of none.
You need to be gentle with people.
Go to it, not away from it.
Freckles are good.


Things I have learned because of you:

Take a phone with you.
Put your phone on silent.
I can't multitask.
You play by the leader's terms.
Names aren't as important as silent dialogue.
It ends when you say you're not sticking around.
The space before defines the night.
I know.
I am knowing.
Always suggest going for a walk.
Kisses are just isolated hugs.
Away places are still with consequence.
Some pills have lactose in them.
There is going to be physical evidence.
Find satisfaction in foreign things.
Everything is ok, in context.
People aren't often gentle.
Just be like when you're dancing.
Most of my tension is held in my legs.
The important body is often neglected.
There is no half way.
People are not entities but experiences.




*you as a collective term

ground zero

They are re-building the World Trade Centre.
And also they are building a memorial scheduled
to open on the tenth anniversary of 9/11 (September 11 this year).

Seems like a crazy idea to me.

I'm not sure why they are six storeys less than the original towers.

If you look up, there is an obvious gap in the skyline where all the towers lean in guarding over some sacred space. But the space is occupied by cranes and orange plastic tape, so it is not truly empty. Or sacred.

On a sunny day with people walking back and forth and the hum of machinery it is hard to believe that such tragic events took place, though it was a long time ago.

There is a fire station right across the road.

One of the new towers under construction is reflected in a puddle which runs into a grill, my shadow adds to the palette of grey.

I was nine when the twin towers collapsed. 13 days before my tenth birthday. I heard about it all day over and over and got really pissed off that no-one would shut up about this event. I got sick of people asking me, "did you hear?", "have you heard?" YES I KNOW ALREADY. EVERYONE KNOWS. As if they has some exclusive news that no-one else could inform me of but them. Then I got home and saw the footage on TV and actually understood what had happened. And I felt small and silly.

Someone told me 7,000 people had died, but it was actually 2,753 plus the 19 hijackers.

In the aftermath of 9/11 a Sikh man was murdered. His murderer assumed he was a Muslim, because of his turban. Other people have died from illness attributed to toxic dust from the wreckage of the burning buildings. In the twelve months after the attacks, the road death toll increased by 1,500.

I was looking through a book at the memorial centre and there was a photograph of a leg on the ground. Just a leg. No body attached. Also photos of bodies in motion, self-hurled down the side of the building. Pretty crazy feeling, in these moments, viewing these photographs.

Strange, strange world we live in.

new york, new york

 in the subway

you are being watched

 i love lady gaga/thank you for not

 WET PAINT WET PAINT WET PAINT WET PAINT

 actually legit yellow school bus

 I pop pills!!!/WOMPWOMP

 DO

           DO

keep new york city clean

 risque automobile rendezvous affair/dad

 SO MUCH YELLOW

canbagman

hello my name is iii hilly???
(suggestions welcomed, I cannot decipher)

 that human looks whipped

++ unusual squat-bending position

bird extravaganza on hatched metal gate

 large uncuddle-able teddy bear/small people
WHY IS IT ALL YELLOW

 starbucks rules the city
KING ew
so many starbucks in my life

 I actually don't know exactly who david letterman is oops
I know you have to enter a ballot to get a ticket to his show
I know you cannot defer your winning ticket

could be rotorua geyser but it is not

thank you panorama function

 graveyard in NYC = one of few grassy patches

 wall st

 mama flag baby flags (flag jr)

 market + musicians

<-- corner -->

 strange vacant place amongst crowded concrete jungle

could be forgiven for thinking this was times square (it is not)

dad is lunching

 so serious

Yes Caitlyn there is a bottle of oil on EVERY table.

seasonal conflict

I am in summer brain now, and it is winter.

When I am arguing with you, confronting you or questioning you please don't be offended - it means I feel more comfortable with you than other people.

He gestured to me to step down. I said no you have to come up, I like the view here.

Like, I used to be an upstairs dweller. Now I am a cave dweller. Semi-literally.

Potential events about 40% more likely if I had a phone.

I am not lonely always but I am very aware of my aloneness. Things are generally more enjoyable when I can do them by myself exactly how I want to do them at the pace I would like to do them and experience them in the way that I want to. This is problematic and what people name 'selfish' but that's why I want to do them alone, so no-one else has to be affected. There should still always be people surrounding me but they should not be 'with' me or connected to me. This is why I like the city and being amongst large crowds and to-be-individually-completed activities.

I ate a 10 pack of Twizzlers on the way back. An average of one every 1.3333333 (recurring) hours.

On the back of the Canadian $20 note it says, "Could we ever know each other in the slightest without the arts?" which is a quote from Gabrielle Roy. Wikipedia tells me that she is a Canadian author. It made me feel like Canada cares about me. Canada wants to take care of me. Canada will look after me. I am electing myself as Canada's adoptive daughter.

Jamie wore an NZ shirt especially to pick me up from the airport. But actually just fell asleep wearing it last night.

The first thing I did when I got out of the airport was buy a coffee. America does not do espresso or soy milk. America does terrible freeze-dried burnt-tasting instant machine coffee with 'half-and-half' "milk" substitute which is really just cream and chemicals. Sick.

I never liked coffee until I started working as a barista.


Large amounts of tags in one post. Scatter-brain.


Back in the Kingdom of Bel Air.

brooklyn bridge 101

Maybe it was because I was listening to Santogold on the way over but I really wanted to walk across Brooklyn Bridge.

 1) Lots of stickers (in lots of places including here).

 2) Left side is cycle lane, right side is pedestrian lane.

2.1) If you walk in the cycle lane you will get belled at.

 3) Super Dinlonyc or Super Dinlo NYC? 

(I saw Super Dinlo NYC but this is probably because I am a tourist).

 4) Large amounts of plastic + 1 Starbucks cup.

 5) I am not the only tourist.

 6) If you don't like gay marriage, don't get gay married.

 7) Large amounts of strings.
7.1) Cables.

 8) Nic Loves Katherine/Party People/Emergency/Posing Asian.

 9) Shirtless joggers about.

 10) Don't Jump! (Upside down. Yellow.)
10.1) AUDITION
10.2) Sneaky abs (Thanks Caitlyn).

 11) Yellow taxis are not just in movies.

 12) Manhatten bridge is very close to Brooklyn Bridge.
12.2) Why do you need two bridges in almost the same place?
12.3) One is new, one is old.

 13) Two-tenths of a mile. 321.87 metres.

times square

Just a little bit infatuated.
 

 

 

 

I feel very at home here.

 

Such tourists. Dad You're hilarious.