noteface

There is a violent moth inside of me
with wings that have bits missing
small gaps chewed out
by fury
it is
fluttering around in my throat feeling like bits of hair clogged in the shower drain.

It is difficult to eat (which we all know I like doing) because the moth flutters everything back out of my mouth. Small bits pass through the holes in its wings but it is not very comfortable. I have to chew twice as much to make everything twice as small - at least it fits into my cells better.

When I am not trying to eat though the feeling of the moth is quite enjoyable. A nice kind of breath passing through my insides; some sort of wind creeping up my throat
and I feel how much empty space I am made of.

Maybe I should just stick to drinking. Liquid passes through the gaps in the moth's wings easily. With a bit of luck I can drown the sorry parasite
I am sorry moth
I wish my throat could house you - I would
like to be your cocoon out of which you emerge
a butterfly
metamorphosed
but you have bits of you missing and would only come out more damaged. Let's be honest. If you had no holes I could not eat at all and I wouldn't get the same fluttery/airy feeling...
and, secretly I'd like to think that if I open my mouth wide enough
the light can shine down through
you into me and
we will both be warm.