"come and sit here, darling!"

Joyce is good company on buses. She will talk about anything you like and anything you don’t like, too. Her words will rub up against your comfort zone. They will encourage you to alter your thinking. This is good for broadening your perspectives. Joyce will help you be ‘open-minded’. This is a good quality. Everyone says they are this.

Joyce will never ever lie. She will tell you exactly what she is thinking. Even about you. Especially about you. This is good for provoking self-reflection. Self-reflection is required if we are to be as honest as Joyce.

She will not talk so quietly you cannot hear. You will never have to be rude and ask Joyce to repeat herself (which always makes you feel like an idiot). She will make sure everyone has heard clearly the first time, which is very courteous of her. She talks very VERY loudly. Well done Joyce.



Joyce talks to everyone but Joyce has no friends. Even though she is a great talker no one wants to listen to her. She scares people a little bit. Even though she projects her voice most people can’t understand what she is saying.

Joyce is an idiot. She is despicable and smells funny and makes people wish they’d taken the car. Screw the environment. Joyce is an ear-sore.