334 on 22.6

arbitrary bus questions
(second, and seconds)
Sam, Sam I am
when six months prior drags itself back into your life
the one who the almost-note was not intended for
...still sitting in my christmas stocking
the un-judged chance to be awful
the chance to lift your eyelids
a chance to fulfill your unwanted wantings
and wantons
squirming and worming its ways
into your home street
(luckily, soon to be left)
like year seven and eight
he is at my window
my imaginary bathroom window
"go away, go away" I think--


I am ashamed at the part of myself which walks with
proud of the self which walks in power
but not so proud
not so proud that I will be an open invitation
so proud as to decline
here I exercise the number eighth
tomorrow being my un-Saturday
and you, with another face
might find your irrational question answered
and, "should I have worded that differently?"
(yes)


but a six-month hiatus holds no validity
or does, in some other place--
Wellington, for example
I would return there, yes, without regret
for toothy gaps
but not for ten day sales
in my now hometown
those are reserved for Julians only
a union, in fort
and even then I let it slip by
cautious as ever
assertive without courage
thus are the two ends of my Self.