take two; five

On Friday someone told me I was lovely instead of the other way around.

On Saturday I stood waiting my turn in class and saw down the end of the room (seated) a stranger friend. Audience.

Thought I, "I know him." And some long minutes later realised what I knew: The way he cradled his knees; spoke with a New York accent; shadowed his face in long dark dreadlocks. I thought of the last time I showed up to class with messy bedsheets. Thought of how incongruous this made mee feel to a place of rigor, routine, reputation...

This particular Saturday, the messy bedsheets seemed fitting. Suited, in fact, to the onstage wrestle, hair tugging, indulgence, story telling. This place of routine now a place of something past. And what felt out of place now routine.

Even though Monday is my Sunday, I still feel guilty that all I've done today is fucked, eaten pancakes and had a shower.

I ate an egg last night.
It was the first egg I've eaten in 7 months.
It was from my friend's farm and was a "Legit Egg".
There was a piece of grass and some feather stuck to it and everything.
I took the grass and feather off and hard-boiled it.
It was a good-tasting egg.
But I don't feel like I miss eggs.

just to eat pretzel bread (oh, and dance)

there for
long enough
to know
I will
go back

there
for long enough
to get the jokes on the t-shirts

there
for long enough
to see familiar corners
in movie scenes

there for long enough
to call it
'home'

there
for long enough
to walk
uptown
to
downtown

there for
long enough
to find
pseudo-love
(night love,
$35 dollar entry love)
and
platonic love
and
in-love:
city love
with love, love

and there for long enough
to feel
the political charge

there
for long enough
to walk
long enough
long brooklyn bridge
manhattan to
the other side


there for
long enough to know
I wasn't there
long enough
and therefore
there long enough
to know
I will
before long
be back

I think the problem is:
There is a bit of everything in me
And so although there is 'balance'
I fit (in my entirety)
NoWhere.

Yea there is a beer in my car door (driver's side)
It's been there for ages
Don't judge me

I don't ever ever want to have to sleep ugghhh

cigarette duet

Listen.

here is a lesson

All photography with thanks to Blair McTaggart.
Sofia McIntyre and Sarah Elsworth are cool.
Oh, and so is Caleb Wright.

nooo you no drink your coffee I jump on yoooouuu

oOOOoooOOoooOoooOoo ghost RARR

wheee I jumpa round do things you two leany, ok?

oh-er .. not sure eh.

yeah just gonna look slightly crazy do shit on the bars eh nice yellow purple you cool

sarah fix her toppy in the bg

ohhh you wanna do that face now? ok

whatchu tuu bin caught doin', huh?

yeah I flash jumpy thing you two just look nice ok

nooo leave me loneeee ooone oooone 

THREE

ouch no grabby my hair I doing dance thing yes you be staunch lady

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LISTENNNNN

don't fucking DRINK YOUR COFFEEEE LISTEN TO ME WORLD

Oh she says so much with that face of hers

please news lady we take our picture with you just do yo thang ok cool fanguu byeee 

I jumpy on you Sof-eye-ahh 

yessmm we have more exciting lives than you 

except equally as shit

and no money

cool

beauties holding each other up in the street

and holding each other back

no UP get up girl YOU ARE ALIVE

no one sees me if I blend in

I like my legs

lean sideways

ok

two red twinnies

though I am orange

we are on a rubbish bin

but you can't see that

NZ is rugby country

hello, niced to meat you yes I am normal and boring

no but seriously

sarah has a very buoyant pelvis

I told her this

she laughed

no really, you do

Stop it.

Just stop it, ok.

We are making a show and it looks something like this except in a theatre, not in a sreet.

Look everyone, I keep telling you, you have to wait a few months, ok?

Dance is not a magicky something

it is very, very difficult.

I keep feeling pleasantly surprised by how happy I am. How it's not that fleeting, elated kind of happiness but a more passive, sustainable happiness.