Thursday, August 29, 2013

Saturday, August 24, 2013

even in Pirongia

The whole world is 
holding on -
not to ideas
  or each other
 or hope
    or knowledge
   or life, but to
Smart Phones. 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Wednesday evening

my sister says
the rain unfolding like
comet showers over her windscreen 
is wasted beauty 

Monday, August 19, 2013

I said,
"I'm going to clamber over you now."
and you, in your practicality:
sat up
leaned forward, and
made a small gap through which I could pass.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

encoding

I promise, that little bottle 
was unlocked 
by the pharmacist
didn't do it

The warning laid fixed to my mouth 
tasting that parasite
becoming my tongue...

At best, I am not very social --
least without legs
But I am no introvert, either
I am quite simply,
"solitary-chaotic."

(In the background: The rain 
and associated sounds.)

I'm jumbling and don't care
words, head, cells; no
Order/sense, nonsensical
I think I feel some 
mellow high, as prescribed, but
I could just be doing the same as
paranormal movies

It's amazing what 30mg 
can do to 63kg 
how? Because: 
comparisons 
are incomparable. 

scaling

There is a man on the roof of the house across the road. He is allowed to be up there on the roof because he is a Tradie.

I am not allowed to climb around the parts of buildings that are not intended for holding humans (rooftops, balcony rails, kitchen benches, etcetera) because I am an Ordinary Person. Especially if I am drunk, because that is considered Dangerous and I might do something Unexpected and Irrational, like Plummeting to my Death. 

I met someone on Monday who did that -- without the death part, though. But he was drunk and Dangerously fell off a balcony, and now he has metal bits inside him which are not his and weren't there before. He told me he fell fourteen storeys, but I think that was a lie. Because he was alive and in front of me, and surely if you fell fourteen storeys -- even if you were a cat -- you'd be dead. Maybe I should Google-check that fact.

Friday, August 16, 2013

waking to words

in that instant of conscious shift
   your
dialogue is already 
circular 
through me

at the end, this holds me up
early, it holds me in
at earliest, it holds here
sometimes it holds me out

regardless,
I love it. 
but --
    Sometimes with anxiety 

Thursday, August 15, 2013

order

open notebook
sit, think
sip tea quietly, several times, quickly
one-two-three-four...
sit
think
sip tea
think.

Place fingertips lightly across jawline and 
stare
out into the street 
stare, sit, think

Shut notebook.

pick up novel
Open.
stare at novel.

Put down novel

pick up notebook
Open
write.

Monday, August 12, 2013

God, or "God"

I think God is in us. The thing which we refer to as "God", I mean. God is people. God is in people. "God" is connection with yourself, connection with other people. God is connection with this world and a sense of something beyond this world.

majesty

looking at you
thinking: 
you know things.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

there is no capacity in me for multi-tasking
diversion / distraction
when your words are hovering out across the floorboards 

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

bus stop

A stranger planted a kiss on my cheek today. The kiss's roots bore down into my face, through the flesh of my cheeks. Inflamed my pores. The roots wrapped themselves across my gums and between my teeth. My tongue sat calmly in the centre of my mouth, careful not to touch the root-tentacles. My whole body felt still and quiet: in control of the situation despite the situation being strange and unexpected. Maybe it was shock, too. I felt safe in a pitying kind of way. I remembered that I am a girl. I did not resent it, but I knew it. Knowing I was a girl made me feel despondent, and empowered; and I felt both of these things in a passive way.


Saturday, August 3, 2013

"That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen." 

-Women, Bukowski.

Friday, August 2, 2013

I can't tell the difference between discipline and fear.
I'm not present anywhere
and especially not in the present
I have been before
I'm in the after
I'm in the other
I'm not anywhere

I'm in perpetual isolation
by choice or by circumstance
by choosing circumstance 
I'm not present 
anywhere

By choice
I'm not anywhere 
I'm in the other 
I'm in the after
I'm not present anywhere
and especially not here.