There's this tiny ache in/side of me
but it is no longer a Fraid
instead, it is
a want :
it aches for all the things it cannot have
and in doing so, loses sight of the Is
-- despite insisting on the present, it
drains the battery on my phone, gnawing at perused possibilities
it empties my bank account, hungry to taste every/thing
it throws itself at potential new foes, entities
showering them in giving, gifted, gone...
so that I AM left smaller and also
larger
at the same time
it empties my body
of all its vital pulses
surging my blood down through the veins of my feet,
into the earth
singing my head up into the clouds
floating on my heart rhythms...
it's like post-show depression
without the show
it's like saying goodbye to a lover
knowing when you next see them,
it'll be different
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