my head :
I had to indent it
to stop the Fury from rising,
had to roll my knuckles 'round the back of my skull
to avoid repeating fifteen -
(plate intersecting window;
she made me pay for it -
despite my first two orbits dizzy inside their fighting)
- supposedly its better
to damage one's self over material property
the Fury
surges
a current through me
wants to explode
OUT
but I push it down,
I push it down,
it boils in my abdomen
and rots my insides
and wrings my organs
the tumorous energy seeps slowly upwards
and clogs my throat, forehead, eyes
so far from flowing / or
giving without exhaustion
never hurting
always beautiful
always open
and radiant, abundant
instead -
I feel heavy
bruises forming inside me
lesions of agitation
scab my cheeks and chin
my world is insular
I forget everything outside of me
I'm well off the path
before I realise
I'm lost ...
head, meet ground
meet fists
meet shower wall
heels, meet floor
meet bed legs
meet air
forearms,
meet pile of blankets
meet thighs
meet ears
I can't hear
I can't feel
I can't feel
if I can't hear
