24 August 2009
You wear glitter in your hair
You wear short dresses
and ripped stockings cut into shorts
underneath, shorter
short of nothing
but glitter around your eyes
(that came shortly after)
Across the road from the first place
17 October
2009
smoking some thing
some entertainment
when the glitter isn't strong enough
isn't shimmering anymore
isn't sparkly enough
September 2010
sometime
backwards swinging on a not-quite-chair
glitter scalp
some sparkle oozes from underneath your right shoulder blade and
slides down your waist skin
into the fold of your hip joint
down the inside of your leg
liquid shine, gold
burning hot melted gold glass
opaque
5 February 2011
some parasitic flying on the backs of winged squirrels
down 5am staircases
and coloured lightbulbs greener than the sand dunes
shit hits the $895, ever-spinning, mock chandelier, round and round forever or at least for a very long time fan
splatters around the living room worse than chocolate-covered pancakes
on all the living thing underneath
trying to live calmly
wanting no normality
seeking chaos but rejecting its arrival in reality
most unwelcome love
that typical triangle
where multiple multiples of three become involved
an entire class, say
and others
a public affair
but not in Women's Day
public but not publicised
not published
just secret usherings
hushings
under everyone's breath
dancing breath
ushering confrontation out the door
(there is no carpet)
and now September
the new September
September 2011
the glitter isn't strong enough
isn't shimmering anymore
isn't sparkly enough
ripped, short of something
it has escaped your body
oozed out of your left shoulder blade
slid down your waist
over your skin
and underneath
ripped
opening the folds of your hip joints
oozing down the insides of your legs
liquid tar burning but
you gave up smoking
sometimes, but
still there is tar in you
burning
sometimes
often too often
due to parasitic flying
and 5am meetings
appointments never scheduled yet you daren't miss
his coloured lightbulbs all colours
Shit hits the lightbulb
round and round
for a very long time
we are living
under shit-splattered lightbulbs
all colours
but mostly
poo brown
most unwelcome love
shit-splattered
(there is no carpet)
We will clean it up for you
at the end of the holiday,
remember?
We clean it up for you
and of course we clean it up for you
We'll clean it up for you
no-one wants to be living underneath that
Please
We will replace all the coloured lightbulbs
and they will be brighter
and more colourful
multiple colours
a new September
Please don't let your lightbulb go out
for some other brighter colours
sure I favour red,
but here I can give you any colour you need
just be vulnerable
I don't even have to give you colour
someone else can
but one of us
there's a whole class worth
pick anyone
pick any colour
just be vulnerable
we'll put some more glitter on
Friday, September 30, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
list
Things I do to pretend I am in familiar spaces:
1. Choosing particular teacups (rose with a chip in it or white with dark green rim).
2. Playing particular songs.
3. Working upstairs instead of downstairs at the desk in my room.
4. Sleeping with the curtains open.
4.1. And sometimes the window if it's not too cold.
5. Remembering my sense of smell.
6. Planning dark walks to no-where specific (but being unable to follow through).
7. Grilled cheese on toast.
8. Sending my bank account backwards and remembering I am young.
9. Glitter everywhere.
10. Dresses.
11. Making plans to drive to Albany at higher hours on weeknights.
12. Listening to the rumble of cars going over the white lines on the edge of the motorway (but knowing they're going home and I'd rather stay here, just not here).
13. Scrubbing mold off the shower ceiling.
14. Washing the dishes without using the dish rack.
15. Inorganic collection wooden tables next to my bed.
16. Gate-crashing shows which I'm not supposed to be performing in.
17. Watching shows at Gundry St.
18. Being in busy places on my own.
19. Catching the bus.
20. Bjork.
21. Buying lunch from Long Black.
22. Wishing for faces that I claimed as my own without permission.
23. Making plans to catch up with people who should be my neighbours.
24. Running across roads in front of cars.
25. Red lipstick.
26. Cutting my ankles shaving.
27. Avoiding my own bed.
28. Looking in the windows at the flats above Mt. Albert shops.
29. Spray & wipe + paper towel on mirror.
30. Fashioning some sort of blog post.
31. Talking to beautiful faces in bars.
32. Talking to familiar faces at parties.
33. Running from flattery.
34. Entertaining ideas of knowing myself.
35. Not wearing a seat belt.
36. Drinking wine which tastes terrible.
37. Staining the carpet.
38. Avoiding sleep.
39. Showering at night.
1. Choosing particular teacups (rose with a chip in it or white with dark green rim).
2. Playing particular songs.
3. Working upstairs instead of downstairs at the desk in my room.
4. Sleeping with the curtains open.
4.1. And sometimes the window if it's not too cold.
5. Remembering my sense of smell.
6. Planning dark walks to no-where specific (but being unable to follow through).
7. Grilled cheese on toast.
8. Sending my bank account backwards and remembering I am young.
9. Glitter everywhere.
10. Dresses.
11. Making plans to drive to Albany at higher hours on weeknights.
12. Listening to the rumble of cars going over the white lines on the edge of the motorway (but knowing they're going home and I'd rather stay here, just not here).
13. Scrubbing mold off the shower ceiling.
14. Washing the dishes without using the dish rack.
15. Inorganic collection wooden tables next to my bed.
16. Gate-crashing shows which I'm not supposed to be performing in.
17. Watching shows at Gundry St.
18. Being in busy places on my own.
19. Catching the bus.
20. Bjork.
21. Buying lunch from Long Black.
22. Wishing for faces that I claimed as my own without permission.
23. Making plans to catch up with people who should be my neighbours.
24. Running across roads in front of cars.
25. Red lipstick.
26. Cutting my ankles shaving.
27. Avoiding my own bed.
28. Looking in the windows at the flats above Mt. Albert shops.
29. Spray & wipe + paper towel on mirror.
30. Fashioning some sort of blog post.
31. Talking to beautiful faces in bars.
32. Talking to familiar faces at parties.
33. Running from flattery.
34. Entertaining ideas of knowing myself.
35. Not wearing a seat belt.
36. Drinking wine which tastes terrible.
37. Staining the carpet.
38. Avoiding sleep.
39. Showering at night.
how to make friends and still appear normal
The world is ‘normal’.
I am of the world, and therefore I must be normal.
But the world is different to me; I am apart of the world.
If I am apart of the world and the world is normal, then I am abnormal.But the world is different to me; I am apart of the world.
I am abnormal and strange and need taking care of.
I need taking care of because the world is insane. The world is strange and dangerous.
The world is insane and therefore, because I am of the world, I must also be insane.
The world is insane but I am apart, I am different.
The world is insane and I am the only normal thing in it.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
chronologia (2008)
Time is the duration of everything. It's measure is the essential dimension. The 'moment' is the interval between now and then and then again. Time is a thought, and we are clocks whose heart beats are the tick and tock. Time is vacant. It is both the tortoise and the hare: depending on where, it is languid and impatient. Each moment is the inception of some newer moment yet to occur or else a witless realisation of what happened prior. Yet there is no past except what lasts in the flickering of our memory's doubt. There is no future except in the anticipation of the salvation of some few devout. Now is a contradiction of fact and fiction. Genesis erupts into a cornucopian extravagance. The secret key to the arcane life - all things imaginable and unimaginable - is in the brevity of now, a timeless flash in perpetual continuum. In 'now' language fails. We are confined within the mind's capacity, our incomprehension beyond three dimensions. Our illusions and delusions and ideals float on waves of time like concentric circles in still water. Time recedes in ripples from the moment of splash or flash and on the foreheads of aging or prematurely-successful men, caving to time's command. The ripples widen into waves of stillness when time becomes nothing. And if there is new stillness, this stillness will also be disturbed. Time only exists where there is action. The clock hand never sits still and if it does some ripple reminds it where it should be. If you ask me the time is I won't be able to tell you. I'll be lying once I've told you. I'll have been lied to. The system we've created deceives us. Clocks lie. 'Now' is empty.
Monday, September 5, 2011
silver lipstick and sequins
More legit/slightly ocd diary excerpts (age 9)
09.12.2000
Last night we put up the Christmas tree. I have 25 ornaments!
Ok so it's 15 days til Christmas. 13 days til the beach. 21 days til the end of the year. 5 and a half days til the holidays. Today I'm doing my end of year dancing concert. Our theme is Outer Space. I'm planet Venus in Tap and an alien in Modern. For Tap I'm wearing a blue leotard with silver sleeves and I've got a beady silver head piece, white socks and tan tap shoes, silver lipstick and sequins. For Modern I've got Green peddal pushers, mixed blue and green top, two feelers, white socks and white modern shoes. And silver lipstick. I got best level 3 Modern dancer. And a letter writing set.
14.12.2000
I'm going away for a week to Danielle's Granny's. She says they own a forest, have an attic, have rabbits, birds, horses, dogs, goats and many other things. Sounds cool!
Mysteries:
1. What is the thumping?
2. What killed the rabbit?
3. What is the feather for?
4. Does the ? shelter in the tree?
5. Does the ? shelter in the barn?
6. Is poo in the barn part of our mystery?
Plan:
Detect and find as much evidence as possible. Get some fly spray. Get some maggot spray.
Evidence:
Rabbit poo.
Spotted egg.
Rabbit bone.
Footprints.
Thumping noise.
Flea in brown fur.
Fur = Grey.
6 Rabbit holes.
19/12
Saw rabbit at 11.45am. It went into a burrow.
Saw 2 rabbits race down hill and into burrow at 2.47pm.
20/12
Saw rabbit run into burrow by barn at 1.36pm.
Saw same rabbit in barn at 1.39pm.
Saw baby rabbit pop its head out of its hole at 1.50pm. Then it snuck back in. At 1.52pm it did the same again.
Brief probable:
A ferret is on the farm and eating duck eggs and rabbits. We think it is a ferret because they make their holes straight down and so does one in the middle of three rabbit holes.
Mystery solved:
A ferret decided to start living by the rabbit hole so it could catch food. Failing, and then noticing a few hares, it caught a few and ate the necks. A wild dog came by and finished it off except for the 2 leg bones. Then 2 farm dogs came by and finished off. After eating the hares, the ferret finished on duck eggs.
09.12.2000
Last night we put up the Christmas tree. I have 25 ornaments!
Ok so it's 15 days til Christmas. 13 days til the beach. 21 days til the end of the year. 5 and a half days til the holidays. Today I'm doing my end of year dancing concert. Our theme is Outer Space. I'm planet Venus in Tap and an alien in Modern. For Tap I'm wearing a blue leotard with silver sleeves and I've got a beady silver head piece, white socks and tan tap shoes, silver lipstick and sequins. For Modern I've got Green peddal pushers, mixed blue and green top, two feelers, white socks and white modern shoes. And silver lipstick. I got best level 3 Modern dancer. And a letter writing set.
14.12.2000
I'm going away for a week to Danielle's Granny's. She says they own a forest, have an attic, have rabbits, birds, horses, dogs, goats and many other things. Sounds cool!
Mysteries:
1. What is the thumping?
2. What killed the rabbit?
3. What is the feather for?
4. Does the ? shelter in the tree?
5. Does the ? shelter in the barn?
6. Is poo in the barn part of our mystery?
Plan:
Detect and find as much evidence as possible. Get some fly spray. Get some maggot spray.
Evidence:
Rabbit poo.
Spotted egg.
Rabbit bone.
Footprints.
Thumping noise.
Flea in brown fur.
Fur = Grey.
6 Rabbit holes.
19/12
Saw rabbit at 11.45am. It went into a burrow.
Saw 2 rabbits race down hill and into burrow at 2.47pm.
20/12
Saw rabbit run into burrow by barn at 1.36pm.
Saw same rabbit in barn at 1.39pm.
Saw baby rabbit pop its head out of its hole at 1.50pm. Then it snuck back in. At 1.52pm it did the same again.
Brief probable:
A ferret is on the farm and eating duck eggs and rabbits. We think it is a ferret because they make their holes straight down and so does one in the middle of three rabbit holes.
Mystery solved:
A ferret decided to start living by the rabbit hole so it could catch food. Failing, and then noticing a few hares, it caught a few and ate the necks. A wild dog came by and finished it off except for the 2 leg bones. Then 2 farm dogs came by and finished off. After eating the hares, the ferret finished on duck eggs.
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